Turns out you wanted Hitler after all.

To answer Greenspun’s question, “After recasting it into modern language, how much of Hitler’s 1920 program could be sold to American voters right now?”, let’s dig right into the wording of the Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei‘s 95-year-old platform.i Without further ado :

The Programme of the German Workers’ Party is designed to be of limited duration.

This is a classic political ploy : “Temporary taxes” or “Temporary restrictions of freedom” never are. Give up your wealth and your freedom at your peril because it’s a bitch to get back. Chances are your kids will end up fighting the fight you were too docile and gullible to take on. Delegate to them only what you must, lest they actually be in a worse position than you are today. The future isn’t always brighter, certainly not for the children of suckers.

Democratically-elected political leaders have no intention of establishing new objectives once their previously announced aims have been achieved, that’d be too much like work ! So in order to ensure the continued existence of their Party and the continuation of their jobs, they create unobtainable objectives with which to string along as many generations of foules as possible.

“Once Valhalla is achieved and everyone has had their fill of space virgins, we, your elected representatives, intend to give the power granted to us by the people, not stolen now, we didn’t say stolen, no one said stolen… granted to us, back to the people !” What was that expression about waiting for the cows to come home ? Oh, that’s right, don’t fucking bother.

1. We demand the union of all Germany in a Greater Germany on the basis of the right of national self-determination.
2. We demand equality of rights for the German people in its dealings with other nations, and the revocation of the peace treaties of Versailles and Saint-Germain.
3. We demand land and territory (colonies) to feed our people and to settle our surplus population.

After the good and proper shaming resulting from the post-WWI reparations imposed by the Americans, French, and British on the once-proud German nation, that Hitler wanted to “preserve the dignity of his people”ii is no great surprise. It’s also very much in line with the American “firstest, biggest, bestest EVAR” taglines.

4. Only members of the nation may be citizens of the State. Only those of German blood, whatever be their creed, may be members of the nation. Accordingly, no Jew may be a member of the nation.

To this point about Jews being part of a nation, I must again, for the third time in the last three Contravex articles, invoke Nietzsche. Had Hitler actually subscribed to Friedrich’s philosophies and teachings, as contemporary voodoo socialists would have us believe, Adolf would’ve insorbed and absorbed those financially adept desert folk into his ascending empire, exactly the way the wanderers themselves so desperately (and inexplicably) wanted and very much to his own economic benefit. Why anyone would want to strap a national identity to their chests any more than they’d want to strap on a suicide bomber’s vest and hit the KABOOM button is beyond me.

Instead, Hitler turned the materialism of the Jews into his national scapegoat, ran out of bullets and bombs along the way, and the rest is history. History, of course, is still being written, as Obama et al. are all too fond of villainising the bankers upon whom they quite ironically a) depend upon for campaign contributions, b) depend upon to enact ludicrously -EV lending policies to support the state’s populist objectives, and c) implicitly support with taxpayer dollars.

That Obama thinks that he can run an economy without the people who currently run the economy is the same mistake the Hitler made. It’s all just a little bit of history repeating.

5. Non-citizens may live in Germany only as guests and must be subject to laws for aliens.

So no extraterritoriality. Fair ’nuff.

6. The right to vote on the State’s government and legislation shall be enjoyed by the citizens of the State alone. We demand therefore that all official appointments, of whatever kind, whether in the Reich, in the states or in the smaller localities, shall be held by none but citizens. We oppose the corrupting parliamentary custom of filling posts merely in accordance with party considerations, and without reference to character or abilities.

Sounds like the basis for a Fair Employment and Equal Opportunity Act, no ? Except the Germans implemented the more Chinese style of “secretary must be Chinese and attractive” vs. the American style of “secretary must be black and in a wheelchair.” Different strokes, I guess.

7. We demand that the State shall make it its primary duty to provide a livelihood for its citizens. If it should prove impossible to feed the entire population, foreign nationals (non-citizens) must be deported from the Reich.

8. All non-German immigration must be prevented. We demand that all non-Germans who entered Germany after 2 August 1914 shall be required to leave the Reich forthwith.

This is precisely the current state of affairs, in Canada at least. Hard-working, well-trained foreigners who want to move here and are the types who readily crest the barriers to entry keeping out the slothful and weak that have made this country worth living in since Day 1, are now being kept at bay so that the local meta-tards can show up for work 30 minutes late and then not feel like showing up at all the next day, much to the dismay and despair of small business owners and their customers.

And it’s not just restaurants that are suffering, do you know how hard it is to get a nanny in Canada right now ? As fucking if a locally trained nurse would give up $100k in the disease treatment system to make half that with a well-to-do family. That’s why we need moar Filipinos ! No one born in Canada can work a Tim Horton’s line-up as long, as hard, and as cheerfully as new immigrants. So if you want that pipin’ hot Double Double…

9. All citizens shall have equal rights and duties.

10. It must be the first duty of every citizen to perform physical or mental work. The activities of the individual must not clash with the general interest, but must proceed within the framework of the community and be for the general good.

Doesn’t sound so different than “from each according to his abilities to each according to his needs,” does it ? Nor is there even an iota of room for the individual to flourish. It’d take a pretty sloppy reading of Nietzsche to imagine that you can turn an entire people into ubermenschen, sorta like it’d take a pretty sloppy reading of AML/KYC law to imagine that it serves any purpose other than surveillance, monetary control, and protecting established fiat banking interests.

But hey, “YES WE CAN” is pretty much exactly this : dreaming that the collective sheep could, would, or should guide themselves through the complex wilderness of reality, navigating the thorns of politics, the thistles of economics, and the cobwebs of historical precedent. Not exactly novel, and quite entirely based on strong retards like Marcus, but then again so is Facebook.

We demand therefore:

11. The abolition of incomes unearned by work. The breaking of the slavery of interest.

The assumption underlying the denigration of banking and insurance is that taking financial, long-term, and potentially convexly paid-off risks is a worthless endeavour unfit to be rewarded, and that only linear pay-offs to labour are “earned.”

The hilarious numbskullery of this thinking, that idjits deserve to be lent to at reasonable interest rates, regardless of their biological unfitness and ability to make their lender whole, has been the underpinning of populist policy for millennia. ‘Tis nothing new. And yet just how much interest a lender may charge the lendee continues to be a “debate” and a matter of “public policy.” Why not just let private individuals decide ? As usual, “fairness, mkay.”

This seems unlikely to change for as long as the State or Church has the power to intervene in economic matters, which just so happens to be precisely as long as they can keep that little prototype at bay.

Without counting our chickens before they hatch, we can still say that a) No one is entitled to a loan, and b) If you don’t like the loan terms being offered to you, don’t take them ! No one is forcing you to take money at “exorbitant” interest rates.

12. In view of the enormous sacrifices of life and property demanded of a nation by any war, personal enrichment from war must be regarded as a crime against the nation. We demand therefore the ruthless confiscation of all war profits.

Lockheed, Raytheon, Halliburton, et al. are arguably independent government contractors who rely entirely on the welfare of the State and who also privatise their profits, yet their continued kahutz with the USG is starting to cost them dearly as business dries up in the wake of Snowden, etc. This will surely only continue to do so as foreign powers lose faith in the US-developed “advanced weapon systems” and choose instead to develop their own when and where need be.

And lest we forget Dick Cheney’s famous fuzzing of the lines between war-profiting contractors and the State. Sure, there’s a difference between the two on paper, but I dare you to demonstrate it materially.

13. We demand the nationalization of all businesses which have been formed into corporations (trusts).

See Walmart, Amazon, etc. This is fait accompli, much to the delight of democratic politicians and their mouth-breathing supporters.

14. We demand profit-sharing in large industrial enterprises.

Is this not the start-up-to-VC-circus-to-IPO route taken by all American companies, wherein “the people” are granted an opportunity to share in the paper profits of US Crown Corporations after the blessed few have already milked the whore for all far, far more than she’s worth, to say nothing of the share-matching and other stock incentives given to Starbucks baristas and their similarly low-paid ilk ?

Seems to me that Hitler’s proposed “profit-sharing” idea is alive and well today.

15. We demand the extensive development of insurance for old age.


16. We demand the creation and maintenance of a healthy middle class, the immediate communalizing of big department stores, and their lease at a cheap rate to small traders, and that the utmost consideration shall be shown to all small traders in the placing of State and municipal orders.

Hm. Price controls in the name of “fairness”… Where have we seen that before ? Oh that’s right : Uber, corn, milk, gas, you name it ! This shit is rampant, just as Hitler intended.

17. We demand a land reform suitable to our national requirements, the passing of a law for the expropriation of land for communal purposes without compensation; the abolition of ground rent, and the prohibition of all speculation in land. *

18. We demand the ruthless prosecution of those whose activities are injurious to the common interest. Common criminals, usurers, profiteers, etc., must be punished with death, whatever their creed or race.

Myeah, more “markets aren’t fair, mkay ?” blablah. You’ll be able to wake me up from this national socialist dream when “speculators” aren’t as evil as very rich child pornographers who blow up airports.

Really, there’s nothing more injurious to the common interest than privilege !!iii

19. We demand that Roman Law, which serves a materialistic world order, be replaced by a German common law.

Every new Empire has to scrap the previous laws of the land, donchaknow ?

20. The State must consider a thorough reconstruction of our national system of education (with the aim of opening up to every able and hard-working German the possibility of higher education and of thus obtaining advancement). The curricula of all educational establishments must be brought into line with the requirements of practical life. The aim of the school must be to give the pupil, beginning with the first sign of intelligence, a grasp of the nation of the State (through the study of civic affairs). We demand the education of gifted children of poor parents, whatever their class or occupation, at the expense of the State.

This proposed education system would actually seem massively unfair and unreasonable to latter day libertards, separating as it does the lemma from the palea. To only give gifted and hard-working students the access to state-sponsored education would be to deny all those well-meaning and almost-but-not-quite-good-enough runts a shot at bureaucratic glory. Too cruel, n’est pas ?

21. The State must ensure that the nation’s health standards are raised by protecting mothers and infants, by prohibiting child labor, by promoting physical strength through legislation providing for compulsory gymnastics and sports, and by the extensive support of clubs engaged in the physical training of youth.

This is also a far more sane and appropriate response when dealing with a lethargic-nearing-on-comatose population. Spending half your budget on disease treatment is patent lunacy of the first degree. It’s like spending half of your grocery budget on 2% milk with the intention of making your bones unbreakably strong. Whipping people into shape so that they’re active enough and able-bodied enough to take care of themselves is downright ingenious, on the other hand. Not that there aren’t plenty of contemporary American programs encouraging youth activity, it’s just that feeding your kids lab-modified poison completely negates any benefit they might derive from getting off their asses. It probably doesn’t help that the tomato pizza sauce in their school lunch is considered a vegetable.

22. We demand the abolition of the mercenary army and the foundation of a people’s army.

Well, you can’t argue against the cost-effectiveness of choosing volunteer or conscripted labour vs. paid mercs. Hey, just ask ISIS.

23. We demand legal warfare on deliberate political mendacity and its dissemination in the press. To facilitate the creation of a German national press we demand: (a) that all editors of, and contributors to newspapers appearing in the German language must be members of the nation;
(b) that no non-German newspapers may appear without the express permission of the State. They must not be printed in the German language;
(c) that non-Germans shall be prohibited by law from participating financially in or influencing German newspapers, and that the penalty for contravening such a law shall be the suppression of any such newspaper, and the immediate deportation of the non-Germans involved.

The publishing of papers which are not conducive to the national welfare must be forbidden. We demand the legal prosecution of all those tendencies in art and literature which corrupt our national life, and the suppression of cultural events which violate this demand.

Funny, (a) is basically the Qntra model, wherein contributors must complete their IRC Yeshiva and be in the WoT. I guess the only new things in the world really are the history you didn’t know yet ! Then there’s (b), which is a hilarious anachronism in computer times, where blogs rule the roost, and (c), a bizarrely protectionist approach that certainly appeals to the State and its plumbookers, even today, but that makes no goddam sense with assets like S.QNTR or S.MPOE.

Forbidding mean dissenters from saying mean things is not at all unlike the political ostracisation of “lukewarmers” and other “climate deniers” that we see today. Good to know that towing the party line and then filling your ears with sand is nothing new, eh ? Much like gay sex between older men and younger boys is nothing new. What, you thought you this was some modern disease of hockey coaches and Catholic priests or some shit ? Read up on Greek pederasty sometime. You may be surprised at what you find.

24. We demand freedom for all religious denominations in the State, provided they do not threaten its existence not offend the moral feelings of the German race. The Party, as such, stands for positive Christianity, but does not commit itself to any particular denomination. It combats the Jewish-materialistic spirit within and without us, and is convinced that our nation can achieve permanent health only from within on the basis of the principle: The common interest before self-interest.

Anti-materialismiv  is basically the hipster/libertard ethos embodied, as is “the common interest before the self-interest.” I think we could find a few (million) kids on American campuses willing to sign a petition with the exact wording of the above point just with s/Jewish/capitalist.

Anyone wanna make a bet ?

25. To put the whole of this programme into effect, we demand the creation of a strong central state power for the Reich; the unconditional authority of the political central Parliament over the entire Reich and its organizations; and the formation of Corporations based on estate and occupation for the purpose of carrying out the general legislation passed by the Reich in the various German states. The leaders of the Party promise to work ruthlessly — if need be to sacrifice their very lives — to translate this programme into action.

If this isn’t what “the community” wants today, with more safety, more regulation, and more guarantees of future prosperity and security, no matter how hollow and even contrary these promises are in point of fact, then I’m a monkey’s uncle.

The undifferentiated and unindividuated turds comprising “the people” want “fair” policies and protectionist bureaucracies to save them from the inherent differences between peoples and classes, and if that means bringing authoritarian figures like Hitler to power, then so be it.

Whether the US can shake a strong leader out of its dirty laundry before the de-federating spin cycle begins in earnest remains to be seen, but I’m not holding my breath.

___ ___ ___

  1. How time flies ! []
  2. Not entirely unlike those contemptible latter day Greeks, except for the part where today’s Greeks are too soft, too lazy, and generally too Mediterranean to spend the next 15 years organising a world-class military with which to beat back their overlords at the EU and IMF. []
  3. From Don Boudreaux at Cafe Hayek :

    As used in this now-conventional way, the word “privileged” describes the state of being more prosperous economically and better connected socially than is the typical working-class or poor American.  In other words, “privileged” is used here as an adjective to describe an economic and social outcome.

    I resist using “privileged” in this way.  The reason is that the word “privilege” still conveys also a sense of undeserved special treatment.  And so while someone might be made economically more prosperous and socially more well-connected because he or she receives undeserved special treatment, becoming economically more prosperous and socially more well-connected does not require undeserved special treatment.  Many prosperous people (indeed, in America, still the vast majority of prosperous people) achieve their success through hard work, economic risk-taking (using their own money), prudent behavior, and honest dealings with others – in short, by practicing bourgeois virtues.  To call such successful people “privileged” is to mislabel them.  It wrongly, if subtly, suggests that they’ve been granted some unusual special treatment that accounts for their success.


  4. Anti-materialism is therefore anti-progress, but in the name of progress, of course! []

20 thoughts on “Turns out you wanted Hitler after all.

  1. […] designed the Volkswagen Beetle for Hitler, cribbing the styling and layout from, perhaps not surprisingly, a Jew – Josef Ganz (despite […]

  2. […] graphic portrayals of the engineered massacres of the Jewish people at the hands of the Nazis you wanted therefore hold a privileged place in our collective consciousness, pumped up and pornographiediv […]

  3. […] that’s a red L and a black S, not a 3/4 swastika, y’Nazi. Though I admit that, if there’s a weak spot in this design, it’s this […]

  4. […] if Hitler is exactly who Pepler and Craig want to enforce their totalitarian dreams. Funny how that works, eh […]

  5. […] ascii_field: Understand, I have no objection to tools such as computerized theorem-proving, data flow analysis, etc. except in that these are put forward as ~substitutes for fits-in-head simplicity~. There is not a substitute. Anyone who proposes one, directly or by implication, is (whether he knows it or not) committing pseudointellectual flimflammery in the service of Hitler. […]

  6. […] that Cher Professeur wouldn’t probably adore Hitler. What utopian wouldn’t ? Unless, of course, I’m completely misrepresenting this King […]

  7. […] wrong with Hitler ? He’s who you wanted all along. […]

  8. […] to the point where being anti-zionist is craftily conflated as antisemitism, which is bad because Hitler, […]

  9. […] If it wasn’t phablets, it’d be something else. Since the baby boomers, North Americans have “just wanted nice things,” and so here we are : lying in the bed we’ve […]

  10. […] light of which, feminazis couldn’t very well disagree with this soda bottle, could they ? He just wanted to…!!! 1 […]

  11. […] with an eerily familiar decal on it. Some call it Parteiadler, some call it a cheeky rounding of the socialist circle, some call it an affront to those brave American men who died fighting the evildoers only to have […]

  12. […] explain the rise of the USG’s Fourth Reich with its citizen’s longing for relics of the Third ? […]

  13. […] Starting at the end, the second platform, which emerged from the first but was never particularly well disguised about it, looking more like Inspector Clouseau pretending to be a contortionist in the Cirque than the ostensible deity it wholly imagined itself to be,i was the nation state with its attendant pretenses to representative democracy. As the franchise expanded, the inevitable degradation in the quality and meaningfulness of each individual vote was entirely disproportionate (in the negative direction) relative to the objective dilution factor. This, on account of Sewage In Wine nonlinearities.ii The result was that, over time, as always and everywhere happens with fundamentally broken software implementations, the sewage set in and demagoguery found its proper footing, leading to all kinds of dumb fun.iii […]

  14. […] available scripts and uncover “Springtime For Hitler,” a tribute to the leader of the Third Reich as written by an honest-to-goodness neo-nazi (Will Ferrell). The fetchingly flexible Ulla (Uma […]

  15. […] equally bewildering and equally beggaring belief is how the US can call itself a “democracy” rather than a “rogue terrorist state“. The only difference is the political […]

  16. […] Dahmer was a new one for me, though apparently he’s up there with Johnny Cochran Hitler, and the great Genghis Khan as “Very Bad People” (TM). Sort of a weird, nonsensical […]

  17. […] the noisiest noisebox to sound the siren of populist politics since Julius Caesar. Or maybe just Hitler. Make that Arnold Schwarzeneggar. In any […]

  18. […] with no sale. If God was really going to punish you for voting in Herr Hitler, who, lest we forget you wanted all along, the least you could do is pick up this humble mid-century modern ark in Aww Shucks Aquamarine for […]

  19. […] it was that Hitler’s birthday had all the pulse-raising frisson of a trip to the pharmacy. And if the pharmacy sold beer and […]

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