420: Pale, peaceful, and placated.

Whether it was the smoky, sleepy grounds of the Provincial Legislature :

Or the suburban bars where nary an empty seat could be foundⁱ :

The catatonic, even sickly post-hibernation faces of Edmontonians were everywhere present today. A high of 14C and lightly clouded skies (ie. the most outdoorsy weather in weeks) encouraged the various breeds of gnarl-toothed swamp-natives to emerge from their dank and musty caverns. Together, amassed and assembled, they coexisted peacefully, palely, and placatedly with their fellow spring weeds.ⁱⁱ Hey, no one said living up here was easy.ⁱⁱⁱ

So it was that Hitler’s birthday had all the pulse-raising frisson of a trip to the pharmacy. And if the pharmacy sold beer and weed, this 420 would’ve been exactly that. Give the Yogi-In-Chief a few more years, I guess.

___ ___ ___

1. The hometown hockey club is in the playoffs for the first time in eleven years. Needless to say there’s more pent-up dick juice in the building than a 17yo virgin on a fourth date. ↩
2. Pun… intended. ↩
3. The ability of the human mind to rationalise and adapt to trying circumstances never ceases to amaze. There’s nothing straightforward about the slothful and uneducated life. Du temps libre is more often a burden than a blessing, particularly for the middle and lower classes. That extraction machines of various descriptions must be erected to keep them from expiring inconveniently is no small matter. It’s certainly the most grossly underappreciated and underrated function of the state. ↩