As iconic as the swoosh is, Nike’s immortal tagline – if we’re to read more deeply into Americanist marketingspeak than is strictly necessary if only for our idle amusement and toxically masculine enlightenment – is more than a catchphrase, it’s the embodiment of the only way that life can be meaningfully said to work : by doing.
Informed by MP’s latest lambasticle, this time of libertarian hero Murray Rothbard,i let’s highlight a few choice quotes from the many thousands penned in his opus that speak to this point :
Eins : the general principle — that there’s no way to reason one’s way into action (with its direct view to the ought/is disjunction), that there shall be no justification for the Lordship lists nor is there any need for such justification to exist (with its direct link to the Aristotelian prime mover) etcetera — have in any case been long applied and recognized if not specifically named throughout the history of the Republic.
Zwei : No, there’s no such thing as “objective” here contemplated, and no, the gate of humanity is not open to all comers. Man is not born, but become.
Drei : But meanwhile, in more practical considerations, there are two kinds of children : those who have to learn to swim, and those who know how to swim. Children are born perfectly able to swim. If they are allowed contact with water regularly, they never forget. If they are kept away from it, their brain overwrites that part, and they can’t swim anymore. This works in the positive also — children are born perfectly able to learn any human language. If they hear a certain language around, they learn that, in preference of another. If they are raised by wolves, as it happened and still happens in Shitndia, they do not learn a language nor do they preserve the capacity to speak. So no, there isn’t some sort of “human nature” with which all are born, other than in the most evanescent of senses.
Vier : The only substance of justice in the public sense is oppression. The original model of public justice, Rome, constructed such justice through the systematic oppression of a majority of the population — at home and abroad. Their verbose, miserable yet infinitely pretentious immitators — “Imperial” England — similarily maintained public justice only through, and only as an instrument of, systematic oppression. That this is the role and the point of public justice is readily apparent when we consider that the present day US “law enforcement officer”‘s failure to identify the superior group, and his tendency to apply the same methods to the poor black peon as to the rich white citizen is what, specifically, makes present day government of that country a criminal organisation, outside of any possible conception of justice. If the state is not organized towards the systematic oppression of a definite and recognizable group, it can’t be said that it is organized at all, and moreover it can’t even properly be deemed to exist in any meaningful sense.
Funf : Violence is its own justification ; and the loser is thereby wrong. I will not send troops to protect the imagined rights or freedoms of they who could not defend them themselves. If they knew they couldn’t defend them in practice they should have had the sense to not pretend in theory ; if they thought they could defend them in practice and misjudged they should have had the sense to judge better. In any case : by the fact of having been defeated the loser is also wrong, and that’s the whole story of violence.
Sechs : The impression, entirely genuine and wholeheartedly believed, of the short fat woman that “there’s more to love than looks”, the entirely natural sentiment of the impotent despising the priapic for their supposed “lack of culture”, the conviction that “inexperience is purity”, very cheaply had by she who’s not put any time or any effort into becoming even a half-passible fucktoy, these all and the whole lot of psychogenic nonsense besides are exactly the same thing as “choice” : something for the inadequate to tell themselves, cheap bits recommended for their very cheapnes to those who couldn’t afford better goods anyway. It is universally, in all times, in all places, within all cultures the one true sign of maturity, to shed the stick horse of “choices” in favour of action and thought.
Collectively, these invocations to action attack the problem of malevolent indolence by appealing variously to one’s sense of honour, fairness, superiority, historical context, and love for one’s children. But if that’s still not a sufficiently thorough complement of vectors for you, for the more visually inclined, perhaps an Oglaf from the logs will help to drive the point home :
Long story short, anything you take is yours. Conversely, anything you lose is no longer yours. This stark reality might seem “offensive”ii but its truth is made manifest on the Internet moreso than anywhere else for the simple reason that the fiat state to which you’ve relegated all use of force and to which you defer to so spinelessly has no leg to stand on online. So the wallet inspector is your daddy, which is great for you because there’s clearly a daddy-shaped hole in your being, so why fuss ? Just grab a fleshlight and enjoy the ride. Maybe smoke a bowl while you’re at it.
Don’t believe me ? Try honestly asking the “red pillers” whether a life of the mind is anything other than a placating placebo. Ask them whether their “wokeness” is getting them ahead in the game or whether they’re still toiling in abject obscurity. If nothing else, you’ll be treated to an entertainingly shannonised spew of rationalisations for why Trump is now President thanks to them but somehow their lives are exactly the same as they were before, hydrocodone-fueled GTACODHZD binges and all.iii
So whether you wear Nike because Tiger did when you were at an impressionable age, or whether you wear Nike because the fabrics and cuts are beyond reproach,iv or whether you wear pajamas or three-piece suits if that’s more your cup o’ tea and have no idea what the fuck one even does with “workout” clothes, the slogan still stands : Just Do It.
You don’t need to “join the conversation.” You don’t need to “consider how your actions might make others feel before you act.” It’s time to ditch the elementary skool brain damage and go, go, GO!!! Yo. Your alternative is the whip…
Leaving marks like swooshes.
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- I’m no libertarian myself. Their worldview is a bit too simplistic – rather like the Bohr atomic model – and equally surpassable by anyone with even an undergraduate understanding of the world. Not an undergraduate understanding from the LV Skool Of Hiyer Lurning, mind you, but rather the one and only yeshiva. But you already knew that. ↩
- “OMG Pete waddyou mean what is, is ? How unfair!!1″ ↩
- Contrariwise, ask anyone actually successful, from Shakespeare to Martin Shkreli whether agency goes to the active or not. ↩
- When I’m in the gym, it’s Nike and fuck you. I didn’t make it all the way down to the club to see and be seen like some kinda degenerate Congolese “SAPE” ; I’m there to get fucking sweaty and channel some aggression that otherwise lacks its proper sexual outlet. It’s not a beauty contest in the weight room, it’s a don’t-be-a-loser contest. That I look damned fine in Dri-Fit is the driving factor in my choice of that line over another, but that the most revered athletes of the post-modern era also happened to don the swoosh doesn’t hurt either. I’m a happyhappy
marketingrape victim, what can I say. ↩