Canadian Economic [Bitcoin] Nodes? More like Canadian Derpatronic Altcoin Hoes.

Dave Scradley and Frank Poutinei recently published an entirely irrelevant and fairly chuckle-worthy diatribe on Medium entitled “Statement on Hard Fork by Canadian Economic Nodes.ii As a resident of this fair land, and as one who has a better finger on the pulse of Bitcoin than any of my other compatriots,iii it’s my priviledge to fight against this unjust representation. En garde!

We, the undersigned, represent the Canadian users, investors and merchants which interact on a daily basis with the Bitcoin network. We are the frontlines of Bitcoin adoption and act as stewards of the Bitcoin brand in Canada. As Canadian Bitcoin exchanges, brokers, payment processors and service providers we are major economic nodes within one of the world’s most active and developed Bitcoin economies.

Who might these undersigned be, you ask ? Surely, they’ll be in the WoT for all their pretenses to representation. How not ? What other avenues for patron-client relations are there ? Let’s go through the list, shall we :

  • Honey Badger, Bitcoin brokerage and ATM operators (British Columbia)
  • Bitcoiniacs, world’s first physical Bitcoin exchange, ATM operators (British Columbia)
  • Bitcoin Brains, leading Bitcoin brokerage, ATM operators (Alberta)
  • Bitcoin Embassy, world’s first and Canada’s largest physical Bitcoin hub (Québec)
  • Bitcoin Outlet, online Bitcoin exchange website (Québec)
  • Bylls, bitcoin payment processor specializing in bill payments (Québec)
  • Coincards, service allowing Canadian to spend bitcoins for Canadian gift cards (British Columbia)
  • Coinkite, Bitcoin Point-of-Sale and secure hardware manufacturers, Inventors of Opendime (Ontario)
  • Crypto Broker, Bitcoin broker and digital currency experts (Ontario)
  • Crypto Jeweler, Service to purchase jewelry with Bitcoin (Ontario)
  • Échange de Montréal, Forex and Bitcoin physical exchange (Québec)
  • Jordan Samulaitis, Bitcoin broker (Manitoba)
  • Satoshi Counter, Physical Bitcoin exchange and services center, ATM operators (Québec)
  • Satoshi Portal, Bitcoin brokerage and fintech app development (Québec)
  • QuickBT, popular online Bitcoin buying service (Ontario)
  • Yuri Yerofeyev, Bitcoin broker (British Columbia)

It would be egregious enough an offense if a few of these names were lacking representation in TMSR, but none of them are there. None of them WoT, and wouldja believe that therefore none of them exist and we could all continue on our merry ways were it not for the fun that we have poking slow kids with sticks. To be sure, this isn’t to say that some of the clients of the aforementioned don’t exist – we all need to move in and out of fiat de temps en temps - but the zamboni driver claiming that his signature carries the weight of the team, the owners, and the fans is a bit ridiculous. Well, more than that really, it’s fraud.

As economic nodes representing end-users, providing legitimacy and value to the blockchain, we hereby assert our role as core components in achieving consensus on the rules of the Bitcoin system.

Unfortunately for these imposters, who add absolutely no legitimacy and only a mouse shit’s value, even doing a few million bucks a year in business isn’t enough to call yourself an “economic node.” That title is reserved for those with thousands, tens of thousands, and yes, hundreds of thousands of TRBcoins at their disposal ; the kind of gravitas needed to sink hard forks on the open market. Or have you forgotten the 20MB block drama of two years ago so soon ? That a few bits might stick to the fingers of these merchants does not make them political players. Not yet, at least. Certainly not until they WoT up or shut up.

We support the activation of Segregated Witness as an immediate solution to Bitcoin scaling and as a fundamental component of a long-term capacity increases roadmap.

That these tards denigrate with one hand the same shit soup that their other hand relishes is beyond reproach and speaks volumes only to their disconcertingly modest intellectual abilities. Though that the same broken cabezas that aren’t in #trilema and aren’t registered with deedbot should know no bounds when it comes to internal contradictions and inadequately analysed plans can be no surprise to the armchair psychoanalyst. These kids are probably also excessively close with their mothers and wet their beds into their early teens. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, just so long as they don’t try to affirmative action their way into pretended soap opera roles.

We strongly believe that a hard-fork, as actively considered by Bitcoin Unlimited or Bitcoin Classic, would cause massive disruption in our ability to onboard new Bitcoin users and would create irreparable damage to Bitcoin and to our businesses. We unequivocally oppose the Bitcoin Unlimited network split proposal.

Emphasis not added. Twas original yo. Anyways, more to the point, there’s no “Bitcoin Unlimited” “debate”. #trilema sets Bitcoin policy and that’s that. Don’t like it ? Tough beans. Try your hand at sous-pont graffiti if you want to make a more lasting mark. History has proven this simple fact in the Bitcoin space time and time again but I guess some folks just aren’t noticing. Really, if derps wanna go hard fork with Lighting or Unlimited or their mother’s tuna sandwich, let ‘em!

In order to protect the Bitcoin brand, to which our business are inherently associated with, and in accordance to our respective efforts to educate the public and foster clear understanding of what Bitcoin is, in the case of a hard fork:

  • We will refuse to integrate the Bitcoin Unlimited coin (BTU) in our products and services offerings.
  • We will not list BTU as an alternative currency option alongside BTC
  • We will not publicly offer services to buy, sell or trade BTU

This is such rank nonsense already. You’d better believe that anyone who isn’t badly underweight bitcoin (myself included) is going to sell the shit out of their newly minted fat-alts with anyone who will make a market for them, all while these self-righteous motherfuckers snub their pudgy noses at the business. “Economic nodes”… the gall! These guys are so anti-economic Bahamas is jealous. This isn’t how you kill hard fork proposals, this is how you dance like a million angels on the head of a pin!

Not that anyone gives two gravy-covered fries about a bunch of brokers no one’s barely heard of and whether or not they’ll buy, sell, or trade an altcoin. If they won’t, thanks to the magic of the market, someone else will! So unless mafia dons started writing op-eds for jizzmodo when I wasn’t looking, these guys have as much recourse to enforcement as a squirrel does when it snows before he buries his last chestnut. If the “undersigned” want to give away business to their competitors, all the better! For everyone! Anyways, the Medium post rambles on for a bit therafter, pretending all the while that outlines for changes to the Bitcoin protocol aren’t firmly laid out already.

Derpatronic hoes these. Indeed, sir, indeed!

___ ___ ___

  1. Aka. David Bradley of Calgary AB and Francis Pouliot of Montreal QC. []
  2. Using Medium instead of your own blog is, for the record, unforgivable even for heavyweights, nevermind weights so feathery they’re readily mistaken for mirages. You’re not “reaching the people” and you sure as fuck aren’t saving $100 a year on hosting. All your doing is propping up another scam. And to sadly, weepingly quote Taleb, if you don’t call a fraud a fraud, you’re a fraud! []
  3. While geography isn’t so much of a big deal online, the political representation from the Great White North is poor to say the least. Maybe it’s all the fine skiing distracting ?   []

9 thoughts on “Canadian Economic [Bitcoin] Nodes? More like Canadian Derpatronic Altcoin Hoes.

  1. whaack says:

    It will be a dream come true if we get free options to an altcoin that start at even a tenth of Bitcoin’s price. I won’t hold my breath though.

    On a tangental note I do worry about a 50.1% attack and the ugliness that will occur if we are forced to change the PoW algorithm knob. However this worry was much greater a few years ago.

    Perhaps there needs to be a concerted effort to document the names, locations, and key people in all of the major chip fabs and power generators in the world. I would be surprised if TMSR has not already done this. Strong relationships with these groups will be of paramount importance should we need to start a new PoW rat race. We already bribe miners an absurd amount of BTC with coinbases and fees to keep the chain working so it wouldn’t be very much different if we were just bribing people at the chip fabs directly.

    It’s true we can always dump on the illegitimate chain and buy on the legitimate chain, making it extremely economically expensive to attack Bitcoin. Also tons of people will hopefully turn on new mining equipment to mine on a low difficulty Bitcoin chain if we change the PoW algo. But eventually the enemy may drop its pretense of trying to upgrade bitcoin and admit it is simply operating at a huge loss in order to cause reorgs all the time on any chain TMSR tries to use or set the difficulty too high as described in http://trilema.com/2014/the-woes-of-altcoin-or-why-there-is-no-such-thing-as-cryptocurrencies/. And the mining cartel may also have lots of general purpose processing power in addition to their sha256 ASICs that will be able to attack any PoW we switch to.

    I know this stuff has been discussed ad nauseum in the logs; this is simply my interpretation of the situation.

    • The beauty of Bitcoin in the ideal is that specific relationships between miners, users, and service providers isn’t strictly required. Again, in the ideal, each should have incentives to guard their own interests, which in turn makes them sufficiently predictable that other economic actors can engage in commerce in the knowledge that every other actor is playing their proper part. Fiat fundamentally lacks this dynamic, the naked emperor forever having to create currency ex nihilo to satisfy his subjects’ unquenchable demands for magic. That Bitcoin assigns the task of inflation rate determination to a cold algorithm is no doubt its greatest advantage regardless of PoW or difficulty.

      Furthermore, the miners will always mine just as the diamond merchant will always trade, and they needn’t have any formal relationship at all. Even if rubies or emeralds come into vogue, the miner will simply find a new mine to dig from and the merchant will simply select a new felt mat to display his differentially coloured wares. Neither is the end of the world, merely a slightly different flavour of the one they both already know, love, and profit from.

  2. Mitchell says:

    My thoughts exactly. I was asked to “sign” this statement, of which I said no. Primarily because:
    – Though they at least discredit an alt coin, they support segwit.
    – Not a single one of them is in the WoT.
    – The effect of these people on bitcoin is null, and you are in fact the ‘one who has a better finger on the pulse of Bitcoin than any of my other compatriots’ by a long shot.

    I still do not understand how people continue to “operate in bitcoin” and not follow TMSR. Countless man hours have been wasted “discussing” how to scale, yadda yadda and derping on Twitter. If all of that was spent reading the logs, we’d actually have some more sane heads. Not that it matters anyways, but it’s a shame.

    Shout out to Dave though, he’s a great guy and does hook me up with coins! ;) And as always, thanks Pete for coming out, truth guns blazing!

    • Twitter is wonderfully echo-y. The logs are comparatively painful, almost to the point of excrutiation for noobz. That these altcoiners have chosen the paths of least resistance speaks only to their poor parenting, which denied them the value of a good beating now and again.

      Cheers.

    • Hello Mitchell,

      It’s interesting to know that you share exactly the thoughts on of this blog post. At least you state it publicly -> nothing better than honesty to build trust!

      To respond to: “I still do not understand how people continue to “operate in bitcoin” and not follow TMSR”

      Neither me or anybody I talked to at the Bitcoin Embassy of had ever heard of TMSR. Perhaps we’re too busy operating those Bitcoin ATMs ;) I’ll look into it, looks pretty cool although looks a bit too much of “armchair revolution” for my taste. I’d rather actually do shit for real.

      – Mr. Poutine

    • Monsieur, fwiw to you and your “real” shit doer fellows, the logs of The Most Serene Republic can be found here : http://btcbase.org/log/

      Don’t be afraid to spend the next year reading every line written, or at the very least making some use of the search function.

  3. Mitchell says:

    Hey Francis! I was going to mention you in my comment as well, as I think you’re a great guy. However, as Pete said, sometimes we need a good beat down to ensure we’re lead down the right path.

  4. Hope I didn’t hurt your ego when I referenced to Core as the descendant of the Satoshi client ;) I had heard of you guys (thebitcoin.foundation) before and think it’s cool too.

    Perhaps I’ll try it out.

    For the record I think the post is very funny.

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