In less than three years – on October 21, 2019 to be exact – Canadians will head back to the polls to roast boxer-cum-teacher-cum-spineless-yogi Justin Trudeau over the stoked flames of nationwide unemployment at the hands of his “climate” agenda… once he’s been properly tarred, feathered, and knouted, of course.i
As with his spendthrift, pyrrhic father, Trudeau grossly underestimates the degree to which Canucks would prefer to pump oil all day and watch hockey games all night rather than lecture birds how to fly.ii But if his recent inFIDELious CatASTROphy wasn’t indicative enough with how out of touch he is,iii he’ll figure it out in just a short time.iv Thirty-five months and counting until No One Could’ve Predicted : Canadian Election Edition arrives at a theatre near you.v
The leading contender to replace the spineless twat ? Politically-incorrectvi billionairevii and reality tv starviii Kevin O’Leary, who recently joined the Conservative Party of Canada, from whom Trudeau’s Liberal Party wrested power last year. O’Leary’s claim to household fame is as the most ruthless, profit-oriented, and matter-of-fact Dragon on CBC’s highly successful Dragon’s Den, a weekly program that gives start-ups to pitch their fledging businesses and business ideas to a panel of VCs.ix Needless to say, O’Leary has the exact same kind of no-volume-required, no-nonsense attitude. He’s the real deal in a land of poseurs. So to borrow a Kanyeism, if I voted, I’d vote for O’Leary.x
And once that’s in the books, billionaire, no-nonsense reality tv star Simon Cowell will take the PM spot in Ol’ Blighty and the northern anglo countries will be well and ready to individually terminate their stagnant relationships with globalism. And then the fun begins.
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- To be fair, Alberta Premier Rachel Notley is doing her fair share to stop the blood pumping from Canada’s heart. Following in the disgraceful and monstrous footsteps of Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne, Notley is presently closing down Alberta’s cheap energy tickets - coal-power generation plants – and paying out the private energy companies with whom she is now breaking long-term contracts with… a new “carbon” tax. This degree of destruction could take decades to remediate because not only is fossil fuel energy the most cost-effective source this side of nuclear but it’s also the primary source of the province’s wealth. Without fossil fuels in Alberta, it’s back to 0.05 citizens per square kilometre, aka 1900 levels, or fully one hundredth of the present density. [↩]
- “Lecturing birds how to fly” is a Talebism and a term of art. It refers to the tendency of simplistic, model-driven autists who think that their maps are the actual territories themselves to tell the residents of the actual territories what their land should look like.
In this case Trudeau thinks he understands what the “ideal” social fabric of a country looks like and thus impresses his “ideal” on Africans who were better off before his virtue signalling, merit-washing pasty white ass flew halfway across the globe to spew Clintonesque Failtardisms to a sycophantic vox populi and their woefully inept consensus-manufacturing assets in attendance. But failing never stopped socialists from trying the same thing in the same way and to the same effect ad infinitum, now did it ? [↩]
- Lest you misread Trudeau’s recent approval of two oil & gas pipelines from Alberta, it’s not that he’s going to save the resource economy so easily, he just knows how fucked he is if he doesn’t try to increase revenues even a little to compensate for his patently ridiculous taxes and expenses. It won’t be enough, of course, but he’s trying to stem the bleeding as best he can, even if it’s a bit like giving growth hormone to a decapitated head. [↩]
- Compare and contrast with The Official Trumpreich Statement :
- Whether OPEC or Russia or what have you cut production beyond the 3% they announced this week, don’t count on $120 (in real 2016 terms, ie. 0.15 BTC) oil again any time soon. Demand is dropping faster than they care to admit even if runaway inflation nudges the “price” per barrel back up in that direction. [↩]
- Id est SANE. [↩]
- O’Leary sold his start-up “The Learning Company” to Mattel for $4.2 bn in 1999. That’s closer $42 bn in 2016 bucks! [↩]
- Notice any similarities to Trump ? Any… at all ? [↩]
- The Dragon’s Den concept started in Japan and has since spread worldwide. The US version is the same except it’s called Shark’s Tank. Shark Tank was never quite as popular, in relative terms, to the Canadian version, so O’Leary was eventually headhunted by the show in 2014. So it is that O’Leary’s no stranger to the US tv market either, a considerable advantage at the polls for any prospective politician in a county whose media is as much American as it is domestic. [↩]
- I don’t vote, I make bets. Interested parties, apply within. [↩]