Pete buys a minivan.

Lexus LS460 with Yakima roof rack and Thule cargo box

Gullible clicker! I fart in your general direction!!1

With a weeklong road trip to the nearby Rocky Mountains coming up next week, I could’ve rented a minivan (or hell, bought one) for the 1`000 mile journey. Given that it’s both a personal and work trip combined, the amount of cargo would’ve completely justified it, but I just couldn’t bring myself to suffer that balls-in-a-chastity-belt fate. Not only would it be far too great a shame to leave both my faithful steeds parked, but why penalise ourselves inside some cheap, tinny shitbox Caravani  when there were far more creative and far more enjoyable solutions at our disposal ?

Having never tried a Thule system before, I found that Racks For Cars in Edmonton rented them for about $30 per day and had a kit available that could fit the unusual dimensions of the LS460L. Happy to try it out before dropping $2k on my own system, I had the rented Thule 628 Force L cargo box and Yakima roof rack installed in under an hour on a clear skied, reposeful Saturday morning. It seems pretty secure and surprisingly quietii so far and the weight limit is about 100 lbs., or about 9% of the car’s 1`100 lbs. difference between GWVR and curb weight. With only 350 lbs. of meat riding along, that still leaves more than enough capacity for product samples, car seats, strollers, and all the computer gear we’ll have in tow.

We’ll save the 6-door mega-sedans à la Mercedes 600 Pullman for when we convert to Orthodox Judaism and have four more children. Until then, more prosaic fare will do just fine.

But no minivans!

___ ___ ___

  1. After driving the Lexus for a few months, ~everything sounds and feels like a cheap, tinny shitbox, especially anything made by knuckle-dragging apes. Though to be fair to Dodge, they do also make Two-Buck Chuck. Though no word on a V10-powered minivan from them at this time.
  2. Wind tunnel testing ftw.

3 thoughts on “Pete buys a minivan.

  1. […] Unprepared as I was for the fact that BURNCO wasn’t also going to distribute the mulch uniformly on the 2`000 sq ft garden in exchange for the $188.00 “Shipping & Handling” charge they’d been paid, I hopped into Saddamiii and popped over to Home Depot, bought a “medium-duty” wheelbarrow, cooked it back to the office, assembled the red mono-wheeled mulch conveyor and immediately started shovelling mulch like my life depended on it, eager to get this impromptu job done so that I could return to my previously scheduled shitshow in advance of the upcoming road trip.iv […]

  2. […] keen observers duly noted, tucked in behind my “minivan” were no small number of south-facing solar photovoltaic panels.i Forty-eight of them, in […]

  3. […] trunk even further enhanced by last spring’s minivan madness. […]

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