I’m on the hunt (once again) for some new eyeglasses, and (once again) I’ve had quite enough of the run-of-the-mill spectacles made by run-of-the-mill opticians. So what do I have in mind instead ? What else is there, you ask ?
For most of my mid-20s, I wore Oakley Flak Jacketsi with clear lenses, and I was thrilled with them, updating the lens prescriptions more than once as my eyes changed over the years, but keeping the same frames.
Unfortunately, the last time I tried updating the lenses,ii which was about 3 years ago now, on account of the rather severe curvature of said lenses, the edge distortion was so severe that the final product was literally unwearable. I felt like I was living in a fishbowl and that I might never escape. So I sent them back, received a store credit, and have spent the last couple years going back and forth between various sets of variously unsatisfying “normal” Oakley and Carrera prescription eyeglass frames.
Thankfully, I just discovered that Oakley has improved their prescription lens technology with a new process called True Digital EDGE (TDE) that eliminates peripheral distortion by… eliminating the periphery !iii Sounds kind of nutso, I agree, but I’m so tired of my glasses falling off my face that I’m willing to give it a shot.
Excited by the prospect of returning to my beloved clear-lensed Oakley sunglasses, I visited my local opticianiv earlier today to try on a few pairs of the Flak Jacket 2.0 to see which colour looked best. They only had the white frame with red socks and the grey frame with red socks in stock, which I tried, but neither of which quite fit the bill, so I asked to see a printed catalogue to see what else was available and what my options were. To my surprise, the response was :
They don’t print paper catalogues anymore, everything’s on their website.
Since I don’t carry a smartphone, I asked to use the optician’s desktop computer to go on Oakley’s website. Apparently, this first time anyone had ever asked this, so it was followed by an awkward situation where I was half-leaned over the display counter as the girl manned the mouse and clicked where I told her to. Unfortunately, in the land of free money (as Alberta‘s been for the last two decades), the patience of customer service providers is far from endless and I was soon advised to go home and fiddle with the “custom” options myself. I’ve now attempted to do just that. Here’s the result :
That little “O” in the upper-middle area of the screen scrolls through those diagonal gray lines… endlessly. Literally. They never ever stop. Not for all the tea in China, it would seem.
The console log reads as follows :
GET http://ca.oakley.com/en/custom/sunglasses/custom-sport-sunglasses/custom-flak-2-0/custom-product/OCP-9295 [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 1043ms] GET http://fonts.googleapis.com/css [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 152ms] GET http://ca.oakley.com/_ui/desktop/common/less/common-all.min.css [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 39ms] GET http://ca.oakley.com/_ui/desktop/common/pages/P06-Eyewear-Product-Detail/style.css [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 151ms] GET http://ca.oakley.com/_ui/addons/tealiumiqaddon/desktop/common/css/tealiumiqaddon.css [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 56ms] GET http://ca.oakley.com/_ui/addons/tealiumiqaddon/desktop/common/js/tealiumiqaddon.js [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 152ms] GET http://ca.oakley.com/_ui/desktop/common/js/lib/require.min.js [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 58ms] Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:13739 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:14919 Unknown property 'user-select'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:15186 Unknown property 'user-select'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:17219 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:18780 Unknown property 'user-select'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:20577 Error in parsing value for 'word-break'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:22349 Error in parsing value for 'cursor'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:22764 Unknown property 'user-select'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:22850 Unknown property 'user-select'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:23244 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:31712 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:32603 Unknown property 'zoom'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:32911 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:33726 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:34206 Unknown property 'zoom'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:34232 Unknown property '-moz-border-radius'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:34569 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:34991 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:35322 Unknown property '-moz-border-radius'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:35376 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:35465 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:35559 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:35959 Unknown property '-moz-box-shadow'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:36489 Unknown property '-moz-border-radius'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:36550 Unknown property '-moz-border-radius'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:36847 Unknown property '-moz-border-radius'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:38777 Expected color but found 'left'. Error in parsing value for 'background-image'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:38953 Unknown property '-moz-border-radius'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:39143 Expected color but found 'left'. Error in parsing value for 'background-image'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:39323 Unknown property '-moz-box-shadow'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:40238 Unknown property '-moz-border-radius'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:40298 Unknown property '-moz-border-radius'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:41258 Unknown property '-moz-border-radius'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:41733 Expected media feature name but found '-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio'. common-all.min.css:1:42449 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:42838 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:42947 Unknown pseudo-class or pseudo-element '-webkit-search-cancel-button'. Ruleset ignored due to bad selector. common-all.min.css:1:51006 Unknown property '-moz-outline-style'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:63755 Unknown pseudo-class or pseudo-element '-ms-clear'. Ruleset ignored due to bad selector. common-all.min.css:1:67168 Unknown property '-moz-border-radius-topright'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:75446 Unknown property '-moz-border-radius-bottomright'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:75479 Unknown property '-moz-border-radius-bottomleft'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:75511 Unknown property '-moz-border-radius-topleft'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:75542 Unknown property '-moz-border-radius-topright'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:75886 Unknown property '-moz-border-radius-bottomright'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:75921 Unknown property '-moz-border-radius-bottomleft'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:75955 Unknown property '-moz-border-radius-topleft'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:75984 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'progid'. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:76230 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'progid'. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:76657 Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:77209 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:77301 Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:77376 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:77461 Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:78433 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:78521 Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:78836 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:78921 Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:100685 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:100773 Unknown property 'zoom'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:105462 Unknown property 'zoom'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:118050 Unknown property 'zoom'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:118617 Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:118794 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:118886 Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:118973 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:119061 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:120004 Unknown property 'zoom'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:120186 Unknown property 'user-select'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:121348 Unknown property 'zoom'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:121856 Unknown property 'zoom'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:122409 Unknown property '-moz-perspective-origin-x'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:123296 Unknown property '-moz-perspective-origin-y'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:123326 Unknown property 'speak'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:139574 Error in parsing value for 'display'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:145097 Error in parsing value for 'display'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:145118 Error in parsing value for 'display'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:147209 Error in parsing value for 'display'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:147230 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'progid'. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:149513 Error in parsing value for 'display'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:151360 Error in parsing value for 'display'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:151381 Unknown pseudo-class or pseudo-element '-webkit-input-placeholder'. Ruleset ignored due to bad selector. common-all.min.css:1:156150 Unknown pseudo-class or pseudo-element '-ms-input-placeholder'. Ruleset ignored due to bad selector. common-all.min.css:1:156379 Unknown pseudo-class or pseudo-element '-webkit-scrollbar'. Ruleset ignored due to bad selector. common-all.min.css:1:157313 Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:5471 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:5554 Expected declaration but found '*'. Skipped to next declaration. style.css:1:6308 Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:7504 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:7589 Unknown property 'behavior'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:15056 Expected declaration but found '*'. Skipped to next declaration. style.css:1:47112 Expected color but found 'none'. Error in parsing value for '-moz-column-rule-color'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:51903 Unknown property 'column-width'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:52187 Unknown property 'column-count'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:52248 Unknown property 'column-gap'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:52306 Expected color but found 'none'. Error in parsing value for '-moz-column-rule-color'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:52366 Unknown property 'column-rule-color'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:52388 Unknown property 'column-rule-style'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:52472 Unknown property 'column-rule-width'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:52549 Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:59147 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:59235 Expected declaration but found '*'. Skipped to next declaration. style.css:1:61454 Unknown property 'oveflow'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:73242 Unknown property 'oveflow'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:74742 Unknown property 'font-color'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:81310 Unknown property 'font-color'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:81370 Unknown property 'behavior'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:93489 Unknown property '-moz-outline-style'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:103360 Expected declaration but found '*'. Skipped to next declaration. style.css:1:113555 Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:118181 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:118264 Error in parsing value for 'cursor'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:120953 Expected declaration but found '*'. Skipped to next declaration. style.css:1:121046 Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:134082 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:134167 Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:135270 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:135355 Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:141371 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:141456 Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:142647 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:142732 Unknown property 'behavior'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:142892 Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:144687 Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:144772 Unknown property 'verdical-align'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:164254 GET http://ca.oakley.com/_ui/desktop/common/images/oakley-logo.svg [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 31ms] GET http://ca.oakley.com/_ui/desktop/common/images/OCP-Loader-Oakley.gif [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 34ms] GET http://ca.oakley.com/_ui/desktop/common/images/countries.png [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 35ms] GET http://ca.oakley.com/_ui/desktop/common/js/ProductDetails.js [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 37ms] Expected media feature name but found 'touch-enabled'. OCP-9295:1:8 Expected media feature name but found '-webkit-touch-enabled'. OCP-9295:1:24 Expected media feature name but found '-o-touch-enabled'. OCP-9295:1:69 Expected media feature name but found '-ms-touch-enabled'. OCP-9295:1:88 Expected media feature name but found 'modernizr'. OCP-9295:1:108 Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. OCP-9295 Error in parsing value for 'background-image'. Declaration dropped. OCP-9295 Expected color but found 'left'. Error in parsing value for 'background-image'. Declaration dropped. OCP-9295 Error in parsing value for 'background-image'. Declaration dropped. OCP-9295 Error in parsing value for 'background-image'. Declaration dropped. OCP-9295 Error in parsing value for 'background-image'. Declaration dropped. OCP-9295 GET http://fast.fonts.net/t/1.css [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 53ms] Use of getPreventDefault() is deprecated. Use defaultPrevented instead. ProductDetails.js:3:0 GET http://ca.oakley.com/en/cart/data [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 209ms] GET http://ca.oakley.com/_ui/desktop/common/js/lib/baynote.min.js [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 34ms] GET http://gateway.answerscloud.com/oakley/production/gateway.min.js [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 3ms] GET http://d49zl0bzgyeet.cloudfront.net/prod/prod/customers/c1479/configureHtml/etc/assets/js/fluidConfigure-oak.min.js [HTTP/1.1 403 Forbidden 4ms] GET http://gateway.answerscloud.com/oakley/production/foresee/foresee_trigger.js [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 178ms] Error: Script error http://requirejs.org/docs/errors.html#scripterror require.min.js:6:927 GET http://oakley-www.baynote.net/baynote/tags3/common [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 283ms] GET https://www.dsply.com/ [HTTP/1.1 200 Connection established 302ms] GET http://bam.nr-data.net/1/beaa6902d4 [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 150ms] GET http://dx.steelhousemedia.com/spx [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 188ms] GET http://d16fk4ms6rqz1v.cloudfront.net/capture/17366.js [HTTP/1.1 403 Forbidden 3ms] GET http://cc.chango.com/c/1452817376308/o [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 213ms] GET http://www75.oakley.com/cookie-id.js [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 461ms] GET http://www75.oakley.com/cm [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 460ms] GET https://googleads.g.doubleclick.net/pagead/viewthroughconversion/1026236546/ [HTTP/1.1 200 Connection established 470ms] GET http://www.google-analytics.com/collect [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 450ms] GET http://oakley-www.baynote.net/baynote/tags3/baynoteObserver/listener2 [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 58ms] GET http://www75.oakley.com/cm [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 138ms] GET https://www.google.com/ads/user-lists/1026236546/ [HTTP/1.1 200 Connection established 309ms] GET https://www.google.ca/ads/user-lists/1026236546/ [HTTP/1.1 200 Connection established 306ms] GET http://px.steelhousemedia.com/st [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 297ms] GET http://insight.adsrvr.org/track/evnt/ [HTTP/1.1 403 Forbidden 3ms] GET http://s.cxt.ms/action2.js [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 2ms] GET http://connexity.net/c/cse [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 126ms] GET http://connexity.net/c/cse [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 69ms] GET http://connexity.net/c/cse [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 125ms] GET https://connexity.net/c/cse [HTTP/1.1 200 Connection established 337ms] Error: Load timeout for modules: OCP-Configurator http://requirejs.org/docs/errors.html#timeout
Pretty gnarly eh ? But the question remains : does anyone have a javascriptotron that I can use ?v Or is an old-fashioned print catalogue too much to ask for ?
I’d really like to see again.
UPDATE – 17/01/16 : Fuck me, I’m blinder than I realised ! -4.00 combined in each eye (DV -2.00 spherical & -2.00 cylindrical). Sadly, this pushed me out of range of the Flak 2.0s and the rest of Oakley’s half-framed offerings and a whole whack of other frames. Goddam this frail fysikality of mine !vi What was left were just a few of the full-framed glasses, and the Fuel Cell offered the most viewable area and the most wrap-around, my two primary considerations, so I went with that. They seem to stay on pretty well, but I’ll find out in three weeks whether they’re comfortable for all day use. I’m a bit concerned that the lack of rubber socks or nosepads might (literally) give me headaches, but we’ll see. In any event, cheers to Dr. Chang and Chris at Regent Optical on Whyte Ave. You guys are the best.
___ ___ ___
- Flak Jackets, for those who don’t know, are sunglasses. I was unsatisfied with what passed for “athletic” offerings in the usual prescription eyewear section, so I took sunglasses frames and ordered clear lenses for them. This isn’t actually that crazy, Oakley offers a clear lens option on almost every pair of sunglasses they make. At $350 – 450 just for the lenses, plus another $150 – 250 for the frames, they’re not cheap, but there’s really nothing else like them for racquet sports, running, golf, and just generally looking like you’re ready for a triathlon at a moment’s notice.
And unlike your similarly priced iDevice, you can’t even put Oakleys on layaway or “plans.” ↩
- My prescription at the time was about -1.50 with an additional -0.5 for astigmatism. Back then, this was bumping right up against the limit of what Oakley would manufacture for such highly curved lenses.↩
- The effect of this TDE technology is that Oakley can now offer prescription lenses ranging from +4.00 to -6.00, about twice the range previously on offer.↩
- Regent Optical on Whyte Ave, fwiw.↩
- I even tried my iOS6 iPod. Same result. I mean, I know that Marines wear Oakley specs and whatever, but does a man have to use straight-up
WinblozeUSG-branded software to customise some fucking colours ? Bring back the paper catalogues, I say, because this shit’s too much.BTW “javascriptotron” is a term of art denoting a computer that loads all the web 2.0/3.0 garbage as the designers intended. I personally don’t own such a machine, it would appear.↩
- And yet, and yet! I was recently surprised to learn that I can deadlift 1.7x my body weight. How much can you do ?↩
“Cheaper than Dirt” still mails a print catalogue…
I think I’m playing the wrong sports.
Urgh… It reminds me of those skeuomorphid “online magazines/catalogues” that you can “flip through”.. ffs..
Imagine if the same guy who came up with those was asked to ‘come up with online video streaming’. I suspect it would involve a video over IP call, and a live transmission from a handheld device pointing at his screen. Because then you’d get the ‘feel’ of watching a real video on a screen.
Or more likely, if he was asked, he wouldn’t answer because he’s been on life support since before he came up with that stupid shit.
Beatings are the only way to learn.
The only semi-ways decent online mag I can recall seeing was Car&Driver, but that was years and years ago. If C&D even still bothers, I’m sure it’s been crudified to kingdom come.
Updated. Now with more blindness. I think.
[…] of being nice to your eyeballs, and since “unboxing” is apparently a thing (and who doesn’t want to do things […]