I’m on the hunt (once again) for some new eyeglasses, and (once again) I’ve had quite enough of the run-of-the-mill spectacles made by run-of-the-mill opticians. So what do I have in mind instead ? What else is there, you ask ?
For most of my mid-20s, I wore Oakley Flak Jacketsi with clear lenses, and I was thrilled with them, updating the lens prescriptions more than once as my eyes changed over the years, but keeping the same frames.
Unfortunately, the last time I tried updating the lenses,ii which was about 3 years ago now, on account of the rather severe curvature of said lenses, the edge distortion was so severe that the final product was literally unwearable. I felt like I was living in a fishbowl and that I might never escape. So I sent them back, received a store credit, and have spent the last couple years going back and forth between various sets of variously unsatisfying “normal” Oakley and Carrera prescription eyeglass frames.
Thankfully, I just discovered that Oakley has improved their prescription lens technology with a new process called True Digital EDGE (TDE) that eliminates peripheral distortion by… eliminating the periphery !iii Sounds kind of nutso, I agree, but I’m so tired of my glasses falling off my face that I’m willing to give it a shot.
Excited by the prospect of returning to my beloved clear-lensed Oakley sunglasses, I visited my local opticianiv earlier today to try on a few pairs of the Flak Jacket 2.0 to see which colour looked best. They only had the white frame with red socks and the grey frame with red socks in stock, which I tried, but neither of which quite fit the bill, so I asked to see a printed catalogue to see what else was available and what my options were. To my surprise, the response was :
They don’t print paper catalogues anymore, everything’s on their website.
Since I don’t carry a smartphone, I asked to use the optician’s desktop computer to go on Oakley’s website. Apparently, this first time anyone had ever asked this, so it was followed by an awkward situation where I was half-leaned over the display counter as the girl manned the mouse and clicked where I told her to. Unfortunately, in the land of free money (as Alberta‘s been for the last two decades), the patience of customer service providers is far from endless and I was soon advised to go home and fiddle with the “custom” options myself. I’ve now attempted to do just that. Here’s the result :
That little “O” in the upper-middle area of the screen scrolls through those diagonal gray lines… endlessly. Literally. They never ever stop. Not for all the tea in China, it would seem.
The console log reads as follows :
GET http://ca.oakley.com/en/custom/sunglasses/custom-sport-sunglasses/custom-flak-2-0/custom-product/OCP-9295 [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 1043ms]
GET http://fonts.googleapis.com/css [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 152ms]
GET http://ca.oakley.com/_ui/desktop/common/less/common-all.min.css [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 39ms]
GET http://ca.oakley.com/_ui/desktop/common/pages/P06-Eyewear-Product-Detail/style.css [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 151ms]
GET http://ca.oakley.com/_ui/addons/tealiumiqaddon/desktop/common/css/tealiumiqaddon.css [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 56ms]
GET http://ca.oakley.com/_ui/addons/tealiumiqaddon/desktop/common/js/tealiumiqaddon.js [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 152ms]
GET http://ca.oakley.com/_ui/desktop/common/js/lib/require.min.js [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 58ms]
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:13739
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:14919
Unknown property 'user-select'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:15186
Unknown property 'user-select'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:17219
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:18780
Unknown property 'user-select'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:20577
Error in parsing value for 'word-break'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:22349
Error in parsing value for 'cursor'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:22764
Unknown property 'user-select'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:22850
Unknown property 'user-select'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:23244
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:31712
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:32603
Unknown property 'zoom'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:32911
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:33726
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:34206
Unknown property 'zoom'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:34232
Unknown property '-moz-border-radius'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:34569
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:34991
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:35322
Unknown property '-moz-border-radius'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:35376
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:35465
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:35559
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:35959
Unknown property '-moz-box-shadow'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:36489
Unknown property '-moz-border-radius'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:36550
Unknown property '-moz-border-radius'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:36847
Unknown property '-moz-border-radius'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:38777
Expected color but found 'left'. Error in parsing value for 'background-image'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:38953
Unknown property '-moz-border-radius'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:39143
Expected color but found 'left'. Error in parsing value for 'background-image'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:39323
Unknown property '-moz-box-shadow'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:40238
Unknown property '-moz-border-radius'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:40298
Unknown property '-moz-border-radius'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:41258
Unknown property '-moz-border-radius'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:41733
Expected media feature name but found '-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio'. common-all.min.css:1:42449
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:42838
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:42947
Unknown pseudo-class or pseudo-element '-webkit-search-cancel-button'. Ruleset ignored due to bad selector. common-all.min.css:1:51006
Unknown property '-moz-outline-style'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:63755
Unknown pseudo-class or pseudo-element '-ms-clear'. Ruleset ignored due to bad selector. common-all.min.css:1:67168
Unknown property '-moz-border-radius-topright'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:75446
Unknown property '-moz-border-radius-bottomright'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:75479
Unknown property '-moz-border-radius-bottomleft'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:75511
Unknown property '-moz-border-radius-topleft'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:75542
Unknown property '-moz-border-radius-topright'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:75886
Unknown property '-moz-border-radius-bottomright'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:75921
Unknown property '-moz-border-radius-bottomleft'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:75955
Unknown property '-moz-border-radius-topleft'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:75984
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'progid'. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:76230
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'progid'. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:76657
Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:77209
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:77301
Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:77376
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:77461
Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:78433
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:78521
Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:78836
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:78921
Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:100685
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:100773
Unknown property 'zoom'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:105462
Unknown property 'zoom'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:118050
Unknown property 'zoom'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:118617
Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:118794
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:118886
Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:118973
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:119061
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:120004
Unknown property 'zoom'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:120186
Unknown property 'user-select'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:121348
Unknown property 'zoom'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:121856
Unknown property 'zoom'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:122409
Unknown property '-moz-perspective-origin-x'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:123296
Unknown property '-moz-perspective-origin-y'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:123326
Unknown property 'speak'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:139574
Error in parsing value for 'display'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:145097
Error in parsing value for 'display'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:145118
Error in parsing value for 'display'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:147209
Error in parsing value for 'display'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:147230
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'progid'. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:149513
Error in parsing value for 'display'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:151360
Error in parsing value for 'display'. Declaration dropped. common-all.min.css:1:151381
Unknown pseudo-class or pseudo-element '-webkit-input-placeholder'. Ruleset ignored due to bad selector. common-all.min.css:1:156150
Unknown pseudo-class or pseudo-element '-ms-input-placeholder'. Ruleset ignored due to bad selector. common-all.min.css:1:156379
Unknown pseudo-class or pseudo-element '-webkit-scrollbar'. Ruleset ignored due to bad selector. common-all.min.css:1:157313
Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:5471
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:5554
Expected declaration but found '*'. Skipped to next declaration. style.css:1:6308
Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:7504
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:7589
Unknown property 'behavior'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:15056
Expected declaration but found '*'. Skipped to next declaration. style.css:1:47112
Expected color but found 'none'. Error in parsing value for '-moz-column-rule-color'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:51903
Unknown property 'column-width'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:52187
Unknown property 'column-count'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:52248
Unknown property 'column-gap'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:52306
Expected color but found 'none'. Error in parsing value for '-moz-column-rule-color'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:52366
Unknown property 'column-rule-color'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:52388
Unknown property 'column-rule-style'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:52472
Unknown property 'column-rule-width'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:52549
Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:59147
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:59235
Expected declaration but found '*'. Skipped to next declaration. style.css:1:61454
Unknown property 'oveflow'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:73242
Unknown property 'oveflow'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:74742
Unknown property 'font-color'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:81310
Unknown property 'font-color'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:81370
Unknown property 'behavior'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:93489
Unknown property '-moz-outline-style'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:103360
Expected declaration but found '*'. Skipped to next declaration. style.css:1:113555
Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:118181
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:118264
Error in parsing value for 'cursor'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:120953
Expected declaration but found '*'. Skipped to next declaration. style.css:1:121046
Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:134082
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:134167
Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:135270
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:135355
Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:141371
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:141456
Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:142647
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:142732
Unknown property 'behavior'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:142892
Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:144687
Expected 'none', URL, or filter function but found 'alpha('. Error in parsing value for 'filter'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:144772
Unknown property 'verdical-align'. Declaration dropped. style.css:1:164254
GET http://ca.oakley.com/_ui/desktop/common/images/oakley-logo.svg [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 31ms]
GET http://ca.oakley.com/_ui/desktop/common/images/OCP-Loader-Oakley.gif [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 34ms]
GET http://ca.oakley.com/_ui/desktop/common/images/countries.png [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 35ms]
GET http://ca.oakley.com/_ui/desktop/common/js/ProductDetails.js [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 37ms]
Expected media feature name but found 'touch-enabled'. OCP-9295:1:8
Expected media feature name but found '-webkit-touch-enabled'. OCP-9295:1:24
Expected media feature name but found '-o-touch-enabled'. OCP-9295:1:69
Expected media feature name but found '-ms-touch-enabled'. OCP-9295:1:88
Expected media feature name but found 'modernizr'. OCP-9295:1:108
Unknown property '-moz-opacity'. Declaration dropped. OCP-9295
Error in parsing value for 'background-image'. Declaration dropped. OCP-9295
Expected color but found 'left'. Error in parsing value for 'background-image'. Declaration dropped. OCP-9295
Error in parsing value for 'background-image'. Declaration dropped. OCP-9295
Error in parsing value for 'background-image'. Declaration dropped. OCP-9295
Error in parsing value for 'background-image'. Declaration dropped. OCP-9295
GET http://fast.fonts.net/t/1.css [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 53ms]
Use of getPreventDefault() is deprecated. Use defaultPrevented instead. ProductDetails.js:3:0
GET http://ca.oakley.com/en/cart/data [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 209ms]
GET http://ca.oakley.com/_ui/desktop/common/js/lib/baynote.min.js [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 34ms]
GET http://gateway.answerscloud.com/oakley/production/gateway.min.js [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 3ms]
GET http://d49zl0bzgyeet.cloudfront.net/prod/prod/customers/c1479/configureHtml/etc/assets/js/fluidConfigure-oak.min.js [HTTP/1.1 403 Forbidden 4ms]
GET http://gateway.answerscloud.com/oakley/production/foresee/foresee_trigger.js [HTTP/1.1 304 Not Modified 178ms]
Error: Script error
http://requirejs.org/docs/errors.html#scripterror require.min.js:6:927
GET http://oakley-www.baynote.net/baynote/tags3/common [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 283ms]
GET https://www.dsply.com/ [HTTP/1.1 200 Connection established 302ms]
GET http://bam.nr-data.net/1/beaa6902d4 [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 150ms]
GET http://dx.steelhousemedia.com/spx [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 188ms]
GET http://d16fk4ms6rqz1v.cloudfront.net/capture/17366.js [HTTP/1.1 403 Forbidden 3ms]
GET http://cc.chango.com/c/1452817376308/o [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 213ms]
GET http://www75.oakley.com/cookie-id.js [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 461ms]
GET http://www75.oakley.com/cm [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 460ms]
GET https://googleads.g.doubleclick.net/pagead/viewthroughconversion/1026236546/ [HTTP/1.1 200 Connection established 470ms]
GET http://www.google-analytics.com/collect [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 450ms]
GET http://oakley-www.baynote.net/baynote/tags3/baynoteObserver/listener2 [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 58ms]
GET http://www75.oakley.com/cm [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 138ms]
GET https://www.google.com/ads/user-lists/1026236546/ [HTTP/1.1 200 Connection established 309ms]
GET https://www.google.ca/ads/user-lists/1026236546/ [HTTP/1.1 200 Connection established 306ms]
GET http://px.steelhousemedia.com/st [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 297ms]
GET http://insight.adsrvr.org/track/evnt/ [HTTP/1.1 403 Forbidden 3ms]
GET http://s.cxt.ms/action2.js [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 2ms]
GET http://connexity.net/c/cse [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 126ms]
GET http://connexity.net/c/cse [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 69ms]
GET http://connexity.net/c/cse [HTTP/1.1 200 OK 125ms]
GET https://connexity.net/c/cse [HTTP/1.1 200 Connection established 337ms]
Error: Load timeout for modules: OCP-Configurator http://requirejs.org/docs/errors.html#timeout
Pretty gnarly eh ? But the question remains : does anyone have a javascriptotron that I can use ?v Or is an old-fashioned print catalogue too much to ask for ?
I’d really like to see again.
UPDATE – 17/01/16 : Fuck me, I’m blinder than I realised ! -4.00 combined in each eye (DV -2.00 spherical & -2.00 cylindrical). Sadly, this pushed me out of range of the Flak 2.0s and the rest of Oakley’s half-framed offerings and a whole whack of other frames. Goddam this frail fysikality of mine !vi What was left were just a few of the full-framed glasses, and the Fuel Cell offered the most viewable area and the most wrap-around, my two primary considerations, so I went with that. They seem to stay on pretty well, but I’ll find out in three weeks whether they’re comfortable for all day use. I’m a bit concerned that the lack of rubber socks or nosepads might (literally) give me headaches, but we’ll see. In any event, cheers to Dr. Chang and Chris at Regent Optical on Whyte Ave. You guys are the best.
___ ___ ___
- Flak Jackets, for those who don’t know, are sunglasses. I was unsatisfied with what passed for “athletic” offerings in the usual prescription eyewear section, so I took sunglasses frames and ordered clear lenses for them. This isn’t actually that crazy, Oakley offers a clear lens option on almost every pair of sunglasses they make. At $350 – 450 just for the lenses, plus another $150 – 250 for the frames, they’re not cheap, but there’s really nothing else like them for racquet sports, running, golf, and just generally looking like you’re ready for a triathlon at a moment’s notice.
And unlike your similarly priced iDevice, you can’t even put Oakleys on layaway or “plans.” ↩
- My prescription at the time was about -1.50 with an additional -0.5 for astigmatism. Back then, this was bumping right up against the limit of what Oakley would manufacture for such highly curved lenses.↩
- The effect of this TDE technology is that Oakley can now offer prescription lenses ranging from +4.00 to -6.00, about twice the range previously on offer.↩
- Regent Optical on Whyte Ave, fwiw.↩
- I even tried my iOS6 iPod. Same result. I mean, I know that Marines wear Oakley specs and whatever, but does a man have to use straight-up
WinblozeUSG-branded software to customise some fucking colours ? Bring back the paper catalogues, I say, because this shit’s too much.BTW “javascriptotron” is a term of art denoting a computer that loads all the web 2.0/3.0 garbage as the designers intended. I personally don’t own such a machine, it would appear.↩
- And yet, and yet! I was recently surprised to learn that I can deadlift 1.7x my body weight. How much can you do ?↩
“Cheaper than Dirt” still mails a print catalogue…
I think I’m playing the wrong sports.
Urgh… It reminds me of those skeuomorphid “online magazines/catalogues” that you can “flip through”.. ffs..
Imagine if the same guy who came up with those was asked to ‘come up with online video streaming’. I suspect it would involve a video over IP call, and a live transmission from a handheld device pointing at his screen. Because then you’d get the ‘feel’ of watching a real video on a screen.
Or more likely, if he was asked, he wouldn’t answer because he’s been on life support since before he came up with that stupid shit.
Beatings are the only way to learn.
The only semi-ways decent online mag I can recall seeing was Car&Driver, but that was years and years ago. If C&D even still bothers, I’m sure it’s been crudified to kingdom come.
Updated. Now with more blindness. I think.
[…] of being nice to your eyeballs, and since “unboxing” is apparently a thing (and who doesn’t want to do things […]