As per usual, there’s a bit of controversy in Alberta politics at the moment.i This time, the new Premier has appointed two cabinet ministersii who aren’t elected Members of Legislative Assembly. That they’ll soon be whisked through by-elections to formalize the affair doesn’t change the unprecedented nature of the appointments.iii Even if Alberta’s last Premier couldn’t enjoy a few perks without getting sacked,iv there’s plenty of legal flexibility when dollar signs, the only quantifiable measure that the simple-minded voter base can grok,v are removed from the equation.
Alas, Alberta’s ship cannot any more be steered by the deaf-mute captain of mob rule than can any other.vi In her short 110 years, Alberta was fortunate to have been blessed with even one great captain, and more fortunate still that he presided over the province for a healthy 15 years. Not surprisingly, Peter Lougheed was descended from the closest thing that has yet existed to Canadian Prairie Royalty. As such, the strength of his positive and noble qualitiesvii led Alberta, with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, through a period in history featuring massive inflation, fuel price shocks, and soaring interest rates.viii The markov chain of drunkards and lawyers elected since Lougheed couldn’t provide stronger contrast. Today’s Legislature, having swallowed whole the Puritanical Pill of Fairness and Rationalism is incapable of anything resembling leadership. In fact, the province has surely forgotten what a great leader even looks like.
Which begs the question, what does a great leader look like? For one, Süleyman I (1495-1566).
Known abroad as “Süleyman the Magnificent” for his accomplishments in literature, art, and architecture,ix and domestically as “Süleyman the Lawgiver” for his legal and administrative improvements, he was the Sultan of the Ottoman Empire at its zenith. Süleyman I enjoyed a prosperous, beneficent, and an unusually sane 46 years (1520-1566) atop the throne, certainly compared to his successors.x
He was superior to all the European powers in military capability and personally led his men to victory against Belgrade, Rhodes, Mohács, Buda, and Timișoara, though he stumbled slightly against Vienna on account of rain.xi At sea, his navy defeated the combined efforts of Spain and Venice to take dominion of the Mediterranean. He’s also credited with transforming the Byzantine city of Constantinople into the Istanbul we know today.xii If that weren’t enough, according to Noel Barber,xiii “he was a disciple of Aristotle, his hero was Alexander the Great, he kept a daily diary when at war, and he wrote poetry when at peace.”xiv Sound like anyone that you oh so progressively “elected” recently? Didn’t think so.
This is very much by design, as Mircea Popescu eloquently demonstrates in On The Superiority of Monarchy (or adnotations to Why the Worst Get on Top):
What if I had created a cooking style which consists of putting a pot outside overnight, for any passerby so willing to come drop into it whatever he may find adequate, and then in the morning put the thing to fire and serve its contents as food ? Would you wish to eat at my table ? And if not, suppose the practice had spread far and wide, owing to its extreme cheapness (or if you prefer, convenience), and extremely sophisticated sophists spent a very long time discussing in great detail how the material contained is mostly protein anyway, statistically speaking, and deductively (for whence would it come from other than people, and then what could it be other than organic ?) idem – as if anyone cared for the fact they’ve been discussing such disgusting things, or as if the mere fact of them wasting their otherwise worthless time on this topic were to enact it into relevancy somehow. Would that change anything as far as you’re concerned ? Because if not you’re clearly a dangerous black-guard and all that, you enemy of bureaucracy and with it of all things “nice”, “good” and “proper”.
This, of course, is democracy: a dank swamp of rotten subjectivities. You wouldn’t feed this wretched slop to your dogs,xv much less wish it upon your enemy.xvi From bottom-to-bottom (there is no top), it’s a leaderless pit of emotionally-driven insanity, rife with sentimentality and “feelings.” This is exactly why democracy cannot and should not survive. This is a very unfair perspective:
Inasmuch as empathy is concerned with emotions, in has no place in any discussion of citizenship or society, as emotions are strictly private affairs whereas society and state are strictly public affairs specifically forbidden from touching on the private sphere in any way as a condition required for the allowing of their continued existence.
Emotions being disproportionately involved in democracy, and leaders therefore being very much drowned in the sea of meaningless slime called “public opinion,” there’s quite simply no mechanism for strong leaders to point the system forward, and therefore no means with which to produce anything of enduring value.xvii The Queenless hive and shepherdless flock have nowhere to go but down, down, down, derping about Treaty 6 Landsxviii all the way down until this woman takes the reigns.
Blessedly, and not a moment too soon, the dawn of a New Empire is at hand. There, on the horizon, you can start to make out your new leaders. We know Aristotle, we write poetry, and you’d better believe we’re ready for battle.
We may only appear as faint dots now, but like Süleyman The Magnificent, we’re charging full steam ahead.
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- It’s not hockey season yet so ya gotta fill the days somehow! Derp! Also, provincial politics are very much the preferred sport of the white collar set. Whether the university educated understand that politics are pure entertainment or not is another matter. [↩]
- Stephen Mandel to Health and Gordon Dirks to Education. Full cabinet list. [↩]
- Not that I particularly disagree with the gentlemen chosen. The former was the best mayor Edmonton’s had in the past 30 years, though the other is some nobody who once served on the Calgary Board of Education. But hey, in democratic politics, one for two is well above average. [↩]
- Since Premier Redford’s first name was Alison, you know that the media was a little more scrupulous, even catty. [↩]
- The “wasted taxpayer dollars” derpage is absolutely endless in these parts and drives me really quite mad. The last Premier was sacked for overspending by, get this, $11,000. Seriously, what the living fuck. That’s not even enough to upgrade to First Class, much less take a cruise on a Zeppelin. How puritanical can you get? Ask an Italian or Chinese “citizen” how this stacks up against their politicians’ embezzling of bezzle. Besides, if you dun like it then you’re free to leave. It’s not like you’re gonna find somewhere better: Alberta has the lowest personal and corporate tax rates on the continent and, y’know, teh jobs. Where else is your monolingual ass gonna go? Bitcoin? If you’re not here already, I’ve got some bad news for you… [↩]
- Least of all in computer times when small is the future. [↩]
- These noble qualities being courage, honour, intelligence, and wisdom. While rare qualities indeed, and quadruply so in concert, they are certainly found in higher relative proportion in those descended from multi-generational wealth. And no, not simply financial wealth. [↩]
- As we’ll soon see again thanks to Mr. Fiat. [↩]
- In terms of architecture, Süleyman and his chief architect Mimar Sinan constructed several grandiose structures that last to this day, most notably the Süleymaniye Mosque in Istanbul, the largest mosque in the city. The Sultan’s magnanimous hand touched Jerusalem, where he commissioned the restoration of the Dome of the Rock and the ancient city walls. [↩]
- Note that this length of reign is in no way conceivable in a constitutional democracy, what with the rationalist 4-year terms. Ironically, a sore point for the “taxpayer” is the President/Premier/Prime Minister’s severance package. In the more cost-effective monarchic system, when you’re out, you’re also dead. There’s much to be said for that crown thing. [↩]
- What part of history hath not been decided by Mother Nature? [↩]
- A city Mircea has been to more recently than I. It was in Istanbul in 2006 that I first discovered the limitations of Eastern European prostitutes and the flexibility of their masters. [↩]
- The Sultans, 1973. [↩]
- One of his most famous verses is:
The people think of wealth and power as the greatest fate,
But in this world a spell of health is the best state.
What men call sovereignty is a worldly strife and constant war;
Worship of God is the highest throne, the happiest of all estates.
- Because you lulzily buy your dogs organic dog food. [↩]
- Imposing democracy on your enemy is an altogether different proposition, right Obama? [↩]
- This works in business too. Apple was Steve Jobs Inc. Now that he’s dead, the company is as spun and as irrelevant as Google, Samsung, and the rest of them. It may be a few years before the tech industry finds a new leader willing to design beautiful, expensive computers, eg. a desktop worth $50k. That leader is unlikely to come from the United States of Egypt. [↩]
- It’s become fashionable of late to “recognize” some late 19th century piece of paper stating the following: “The Plain and Wood Cree Tribes of Indians, and all other the Indians inhabiting the district hereinafter described and defined, do hereby cede, release, surrender and yield up to the Government of the Dominion of Canada, for Her Majesty the Queen and Her successors forever, all their rights, titles and privileges, whatsoever, to the lands included within the following limits…”
Politicians play this card to win brownie points for looking all historically knowledgable without having to visit a library. But if they read the actual words of the fucking treaty and made any kind of sense of it, they’d see that “recognizing” it is as retarded as coming home for dinner and, during grace, mentioning all the previous owners of your house. “Thank you Jones family for painting those walls and thank you Andrewchuck family for the new appliances.” Etc. [↩]