As of this writing, as many as 1170 individualsi have purchased upwards of 4,496 perfectly good BTC worth of Ether, Ethereum’s altcoin.ii If this is at all reminiscent of BitAngels with Mastercoin and those other fucktards with MaidSafeCoin, it should be. This is the exact same wallet inspector schtick. “Trust us now, bother us later after we miss all the deadlines and don’t do anything useful with our lives.”
Selected quotes from Vitalik’s “Ether Genesis Sale” blog post:
First of all, I would like to thank the community, and especially those close to the project who have in many cases abandoned their jobs to dedicate their time to it, for their extreme patience regarding the launch of the ether sale.
WTF did “the community” do for Etherum? Anyone with half a brain has seen how horribly all the Bitcoin 2.0 shit has gone down, despite multiple fucking warnings.iii Vitalik cannot seriously imagine that anyone still gives a shit. Other than his unemployed co-derps.
Ether will NOT be usable or transferable until the launch of the genesis block. That is to say, when you buy ether and download your wallet, you will not be able to do anything with it until the genesis block launches.
This is going to go so, so badly for those who don’t have half a brain. As if their miserable lives weren’t trying enough.
The price of ether is initially set to a discounted price of 2000 ETH per BTC, and will stay this way for 14 days before linearly declining to a final rate of 1337 ETH per BTC. The sale will last 42 days, concluding at 23:59 Zug time September 2.
What a deal! This, and more, brought out the lulzcannon on IRC:
BingoBoingo: Lol ethereum is selling their own altcoin nao, https://www.ethereum.org/ “People interested in acquiring ether to build and distribute decentralized applications, or to pay for their usage, are able to do so in the Genesis Sale using bitcoin, thereby locking-in their supply at a known price. This sale will help us fund the continued development of the software platform, scheduled for release in the winter of 2014/2015.” << Preorder on a BFL window. Thing could materialize winter 2014 or winter 2015iv
thickasthieves: Like anyone will give a shit by then.
Pierre_Rochard: My favorite part “This document is not a solicitation for investment and does not pertain in any way to an offering of securities in any jurisdiction.”
thickasthieves: Because we say so!
Pierre_Rochard: Wonder if they’ll respond like mircea_popescu did when the SEC comes knocking…
BingoBoingo: Even though by simply the way things are they seems to like BFL be actually selling equity rather than product.
mircea_popescu: Too many people want to appear mp without putting in the work to actually be mp, nor fronting the risk etc.
thickasthieves: Who actually wants these smart contracts anyway? iIdont get who ethereum is providing for.
BingoBoingo: If ethereum manages to ship this winter I doubt it’s market cap will survive at a size greater than ATC’s through April next year
mircea_popescu: If anyone wants to enter an ethereum short lemme know.
thickasthieves: You’re betting on ethereum?!
mircea_popescu: You can buy ethereum coins for half what they charge, deliverable jan 15th 2015.
mircea_popescu: I guess I can make a 3 month future too, if enough demand.
BingoBoingo: Well atm during their pre-sale they price their coins off of a timer, with 1 BTC buying less coins as the timer increments. Haven’t seen the details.
mircea_popescu: Fuck them, whatever they ask for is too much.
thickasthieves: ITD at least be a fun way to piss them off and fuck up their IPO a bit.
thickasthieves: Lol why does their home page give away desktop backgrounds? WTF. “Turing complete contracts on a blockchain.”
mircea_popescu: You don’t understand traffix,
BingoBoingo: Of course. K sale ends in roughly 41-42 days, in just under two weeks their offering goes from 2000 per BTC to 1970 per BTC (fucking hippies).
mircea_popescu: Where is this advertised ?
BingoBoingo: Their home page.
mircea_popescu: How did this work again lessee.
thickasthieves: “Ethereum Genesis Sale” they call it. Awesome
mircea_popescu: ;;sell 5000 “ethereum coins deliverable March 15th, 2015″ 1 BTC “Up to 1k BTC’s worth accepted. Get in touch.”
gribble: Order id 21135 created.
mircea_popescu: So now, elementary economic theory : if one actually WANTS ethereum coins, they’ll buy from me. Watch how nobody does, and then watch the ethereum people lie about how they sold however many. Because yes, totally, this happens.
BingoBoingo: You forget the mp eats babies crowd and “momentum traders” who want to flip the thing right away.v
mircea_popescu: Yes, I am forgetting the idiots. Supposedly there’s “investors” involved in these crummy shits.
justusranvier: What happens if by next March 15th, the Ethereum network isn’t sufficiently functional for you to be able to deliver Ethers to the people who take you up on your offer?
mircea_popescu: Amusingly, in that case the contract’d be void. But anyway, it’d be an explicit clause limiting such cases, obv. In any case, one generally buys a future if they expect the thing to work well, not to fail. If you buy a future and the thing fails there’s many ways to put it, but they all boil down to “you’re screwed”.
justusranvier: They might have value as collector’s items 30 years from now.vi
mircea_popescu: All sorts of mights, obviously. The aliens might land five minutes later and declare that anyone can have super hot alien blowjobs for a ETH each.
That’s it, basically. Mircea Popescu is offering up 5000 ETH per BTC in 8 months from now, 2.5x more ETH per BTC than the best rate being offered by Ethereum during the Genesis Sale.vii Effectively, MP is allowing you to “go long” ETH.
So who wants a deal on some ETH?
___ ___ ___
- I hesitate to call them “people.” They are effectively the poor. [↩]
- It’s incredibly unlikely that anywhere near that number of purchasers are involved in this Ether Genesis Block fucktardery. It’s altogether more likely that Vitalik Buterin, he of “autism is the same as intelligence” fame, and Anthony di Iorio, he of “Bitcoin Alliance of Canada” fame, and their cronies are conspiring to make it look like Ether is soooooo popular when in fact they’re funding it themselves. Any Ether purchase larger than 1 BTC can reasonably be attributed to someone directly involved with Ethereum’s development or otherwise with their name on some a that sweet pre-mined candy. Yes, in addition to this joke of a Genesis Block Sale, ether is also being pre-mined to the tune of 29.4%. [↩]
- Of course, it hasn’t just been me. Mircea Popescu has been making this abundantly clear… since at least January 2013. [↩]
- Oh, the “unintentional” ambiguity of wallet inspectors! [↩]
- This is a disturbing, gut-wrenching number of people. They’re the same ones that fuck around on Havelock and the other play Bitcoin stock exchanges. I’ve met them. Nice people. Seriously fucking delusional. [↩]
- Sorta like the Lealana Litecoins and Casascius Bitcoins, amirite? [↩]
- Sounds like a good deal to me, and if I were in the market for hopeless pipe dreams, I’d be all over his offer. [↩]