To A Redditard

You bizarre, wide-faced, loose-lipped, slow-eyed,
Pale-skinned, paltry-minded, zeks of the Net,
Gulping “ideas” at “conferences,”i
Simple folk, behind pseudonyms you hide,ii
You opine tho’ nothing is twixt your ears,
And you, all shapes, sizes, you only fret,–
Some thin, some fat, all full of pretenses,
Impotent, loud, with no shortage of fears,

O crude, soft, withering, dithering blights,
What is’t ye do? What purpose do you seek?iii
How do ye expect to add to the fight?iv
Your thinking’s so shallow, your thoughts so meek,
With simplicity, you dream of more rights,v
New revolutions, just give me your shriek.vi

With apologies to Leigh Hunt (1784-1859) and his poem To A Fish.

___ ___ ___

  1. Conferences such as the Toronto Bitcoin Expo. []
  2. Not that pseudonyms are in and of themselves bad, it’s just that Reddit “identities” are too easily created and discarded, negating their value, the value of their user, and the value of the words accredited them. Just get in the WoT already. []
  3. Assuming that Redditards are nowhere near approaching causes, what is their purpose? []
  4. The fight being: Bitcoin. []
  5. Chugachuga-chugachuga-choo!-choo! goes the train along the Rights Railroad. []
  6. Another revolution? Seriously? We already had the French one and we’re still living with its unfortunate consequences. What do you say we try a little reaction action? []

18 thoughts on “To A Redditard

  1. I still blame Yishan Wong, or should it be Paul Graham? I don’t know, I’m outraged all the same!

  2. […] be true that most people who are great at anything except for whining are born outside the US. The Reddit generation pretty much takes the historical cake here. On other accounts, the point is granted, but still […]

  3. […] than you’ll ever see me grant today.viii I was green, I knew it, and rather than go all redditard, I took my lumps. After all, that’s what adults, and those who one day strive to be adults, […]

  4. […] be like a debate between two #bitcoin-assets regulars on the one hand and an assets regular with a redditard on the other hand. If the entire world were full of people as intelligent and capable as those in […]

  5. […] isn’t the first time I’ve re-written a poem, will today be yours […]

  6. […] and the over-the-moon online reactions re-posted by the TV network, it’s clear to see that the redditards and socialistoids of my generation overpowered the sager minds with sheer volume, just as they did […]

  7. […] a good hard look at what the people with the money to make decisions actually did, not what the people without the money thought they should do because reasons. In case you haven’t heard, this is how the world […]

  8. […] it’s just someone who’s primitive, a bit slow, and always late to the party. Frankly, redditards, who are largely pimply-faced white kids who smoke a lot of weed in their mother’s suburban […]

  9. […] things ever come out of an ill-equipped kid stuck in a blender. So if your kid doesn’t find an escape from rocks, trees, and the inside of his own locker, he still might end up being the bully’s […]

  10. […] some measure of time and energy with the local meet-up/conference/merchant/grassrootsy-bordering-on-redditarded crowd, trying to drill whatever sense I then had at my disposal into well meaning but largely […]

  11. […] Well, you can “comment below” if and only if you have a Facebook account. But if you actually have a Facebook account, you’re probably too busy stuffing your ears with gauze to prevent your brains from leaking out to comment on random anonymowannabebitcoinnewssites. Not that it really matters much either way. Bitcoin policy is set in #b-a, after all – not on some herpy-derpy “news” blog, not by the “Core Developers,” and most certainly not by “enthusiasts,” for which I take to mean redditards. […]

  12. […] folks are to the motoring industry what Redditards are to Bitcoin : lots of tawk of “community” etc. and not a lot of money where their […]

  13. […] you’ve been around long enough, you know this already, even if it’s hard to admit for redditards and their mouth-breathing ilk. If you’re new, well, consider this a very brief historical […]

  14. […] industry,” for the unaware and stably employed, is code for “bring your resume and your redditard credentials in the hopes that some VC-backed ponzi scam needs your special trainflake services for their […]

  15. […] Ver, Reddit, and a Chinese mining pooli recently tried to fork The Real Bitcoin project and create an Altcoin […]

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