The 2012 Harley-Davidson F-150 Is The Modern Day Tower of Babel

by Peter Dushenski

 

Its bricks and mortar are fuel and space.

Like the Tower of Babel, the newest Harley reaches high into the clouds.

 

Serpents abound.

Printed leathers and wondrous wheels.

Man tasted knowledge for the first time in the snake-infested Eden,

He ignored God’s word for the second time before the Flood,

He reached for the clouds a third time with his Tower,

Man reaches further still with every new Harley.

 

It’s has been around for ages now.

A not uncommon sight on the streets of Alberta.

The orange and black have faded.

How small and simple they look next to this one:

The newest and most self-aggrandizing yet.

 

It’s immense in every sense.

Its hypnotic V8 purrs relentlessly.

Its fanged flanks look ready to eat an Elantra.

 

Its whizzing running boards loft the driver one step closer to the clouds.

One step closer to the top of the Tower.

They also get jammed with snow.

 

It’s natural.

Just as the Empire State Building was surpassed by the Sears Tower,

So will the Burj Khalifa be passed.

Man seeks great heights.

He seeks to surpass his peers

And himself.

This Harley is taller.

It reaches higher.

 

Fuel prices rise.

Population and density commensurately.

The bricks and mortar are crumbling.

The Harley keeps reaching.

On a less poetic note, there’s really nothing to compare it to. No Sierra, no Ram, no Silverado comes close. Not only that, but the Harley-Davidson F-150 is something of a value proposition when compared to the only competition it really has: a kitted-out F-150 Platinum. Specced with the same 6.2L, the Platinum saves Mr. Buyer only $661 when otherwise identically equipped. That 1% difference buys you dozens of burly badges, badass 22s, blacked out exterior trim, and snakeskin-printed leather on the headrests and steering wheel. It’s actually a bit of a bargain.

I’d personally take the EcoBoost Platinum we drove last summer, with its fizzing twin-turbos propelling seductive thrusts towards the horizon, but that seamless sensation doesn’t appeal to everyone, particularly those already enamored with the Harley-Davidson brand. For them, volume, both litres and hertz, is the truest measure of success.

My that metric, there’s no truck more successful than this. It pampers and glistens without being regal, making it the perfect blend of indulgence and manliness – manliness that fully embodies the essence of Genesis 11:1-26.

And that’s the Philosophy of Driving for this week. See you next Tuesday!

[Photo credit: author]

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