A long pause, a lot of paws.


It’s been six bitterly cold months since Blackzilla was stored away for winter in my lonely single-car garage.i But now Spring is here! I think!!1ii

After this long pause, we can stop to admire the… paws, or rather pawprints left by my feline friend Benny. Can you find a square inch that he hasn’t left his filthy mark on ? Because I’m not sure there is one. A quick trip to my old pal Des Ross will fix all that, but it’s still just superficial shit.

Out on the road again, after half-a-year’s distance, a new battery,iii and the re-installation of the sexy Black Edition wheels,iv I can’t help but gawk slack-jawed in amazementv at the performance of this fucking car. Holy Good Golly Miss Molly! It’s a kamikaze flurry of turbo whooshes, cracked-off paddle shifts, and tensed sphincters before you’re going triple-digits and need to find the brakes (in town). The wide-eyed infusion of adrenaline and intoxicating smell of lubricants simmering is all that’s left a moment later. It’s fairly glorious that it ever happened in the first place, and it’s all available again at every new gap. You just have to be bold enough and it’s yours.

I won’t keep the GT-R forever – in fact this might be my last summer with itvi – but I can already foresee missing it, such is its presence.

I guess I’ll just have to make the most of the time we have.
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  1. Yes, that means that Jay parks on the street or driveway at home, but with an unheated garage and Jay’s remote starter, this actually isn’t a terrible arrangement at all. Yes, snow and ice have to be scraped off on frosty mornings, but at least I get to hop into a warmed car with the driver’s seat all toasty! It’s only unfortunate that Jay’s steering wheel heater and rear window defroster don’t stay on when the car is turned off. Goddam why can’t all buttons be click-to-hold ?

    Dreidel ? She has her own storage shed out in the country. A feline-free one, I might add. []

  2. It’s been known to snow in May – not a little bit either – but this Spring has been particularly tardy. And cold. But fuck me if the summers aren’t absolutely gorgeous. Still, I’m now accepting suggestions for places to “winter” (as in the verb) from November to March. The place should ideally be warm and have sunsets after 8pm for most of that period.

    Does that limit me to Brazil, Chile, Argentina, BBistan, South Africa, New Zealand, and Australia ? If so, aside from Brazil and Australia, which I’ve been to and can form my own opinion of, which would you suggest for a fambly of four and why ? []

  3. The new battery was needed for the same reason that I didn’t put on a car cover, viz. I fully intended to drive the car in the winter at least a handful of times. But fuck me if it wasn’t one of those bitterly cold, low precipitation winters where it was always -20°C and icy as shit.

    But even in January, who’s to say that it wouldn’t turn around at a moment’s notice ? It never did, of course, so by the time I hooked up the trickle charger, it was too late, and after the first week the cat had already marked his turf (thankfully only with prints) and I could hardly see the harm in a few more. I didn’t even pause the insurance, such was the so-close-yet-so-far prospect of urban rooster tails. So that was basically the first winter of unexpected car storage in a nutshell.  []

  4. The standard “Premium” wheels were originally purchased and installed for my first few track days because the Bridgestones they came fitted with were better suited for the circuit. But now that I have a proper purpose-built track toy, and seeing as the RE070Rs were almost as bare and unsightly as the chests of #trilema this month, it finally made sense to put the Rays Forged wheels and harder-wearing Michelin tires back on. []
  5. Yes, amazement. It isn’t just overly fashionable hyperbole when your eyes bug out of your skull and your head involuntarily shakes side-to-side in incredulous “whatthefuck”-ery after the first few multi-second throttle applications. []
  6. With the return of a proper summer car to my modest fleet, an annual rotation appears to be emerging whereby the winter/all-season car is replaced every even-numbered year and the summer/sports car is replaced every odd-numbered year, which could very mean mean that I’ll be saying sayonara to Blackzilla come 2019.

    If you know a bit about cars and fancy a rousing game of “dream garage,” what would you pick to replace Blackzilla with ? And don’t shout “Lambo!”, I’m not some ethertard, but let’s say under C$150k (it can be way under too, I have no problem with $20k cars), built in the last 7 years, available in the Canadian/American market, four-seater, and unlikely to depreciate appreciably between 2019-2021. That should be enough of a scope, ya ? []