What King do you think you’re living like exactly?

Motto : We have nothing to complain about, we live like Kings did 100 years ago!

Kingsi a century ago had the following, which you’re free to tick off as we go down the list :

  • Allodial title to terrestrial property
  • Slaves and/or servants
  • Loyal subjects
  • Obsequious retinues
  • Concubines, harims, or other polygamous relationships
  • Commissioned… everythingii
  • The power of life and deathiii

And whatever else besides. That you have a “supercomputer in your pocket” that you use for little other than playing gawk at the girl without actually talking to heriv or catch a Pikamon or get all FOMOrific up in this bitch ; or that you happen to have been born to folks who landed in a cushy geography that you may know plumbing, electricity, clean drinking water, strawberries in January, and “free healthcare” is neither here nor there. It’s at best a superficial point of differentiation between $current_state and the Africa you so long to join. And at this rate a temporary one at that. Keep blowing your parent’s wad on useless fences and even more useless “rights” instead of finding a proper King to submit to, and don’t be surprised if your kids grow up on a steady diet of corn-infused shit biscuitsTertium non datur.

You don’t live like any King ever.v Nor could you. Nor, frankly, would you want to.

What, you think modernity invented TNSTAAFL too ?

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  1. Eg. Abdur Rahman Khan of Afghanistan, Rama V of Siam, Franz Joseph I of Hungary, Léopold II of Belgium, etc etc. []
  2. Ie. Not just a “customised” Starbucks latte or a Netflix recommendation list, as you feel so lucky to have, but bespoke furniture, transportation, clothing, jewelry, weapons, buildings (not made out of pressed shitboard), gardens, and art, to say nothing of the shapes and future directions of millions of souls. When’s the last time you went to so much as a Dairy Queen as asked them to make you something off-menu ? []
  3. I’m sure you think you “could” have this level of power, but they actually did. And they actually used it. Please tell me you can see the difference here. []
  4. SPOILER ALERT : Talking to a girl face à face is a prereq for getting her in bed. The saga of Contravex butthurt never ends eh. []
  5. Nor, FWIW, do I, but I at least maintain no such delusions to the contrary. []